I wish i was a satellite...so that i could run away...boom... with an escape velocity of 140km/hr... no gravity pulling me anywhere... only open space... total freedom...only reflecting what I want to...trasmitting only what i want to... and doing nothing at all that I ought to!

The C factor!

"Confusion is Good"

Miss Shree said the same thing u said a month ago to me. After a long time i feel good about being confused about everything going on in my life... every relation that exists in me...a friend, a sister, a daughter and many more!

"confusion shows that you are analyzing stuff... u have become thoughtful!"

that is such a compliment for me! i remember how i never thought(much) about anything and i must say i've changed for good. That time was good because it had to be enjoyed without thinking and now is the time to think and Enjoy!

Time has changed and so have I! though I never liked thinking now I know i have to. Its a part of the change...The inevitable change...

we were strolling in the corridor after dinner...wondering how things are different now. So unlike it was 7 months back. we were happier than now, for having so many "Friends" but now we are disintegrating... or let me say  we know each other better now and we have mutually accepted the distance. We paused so that she could relieve her bladder of the immense pressure.

I lingered around waiting for her when I saw this dead moth. I still remember having read in my second standard G.K. book that these feed on their own dead skin...unimaginable!Arent I doing the same?feeding on my emotions...and the ones who really love me.

He loves me so much that he tolerates the tantrums with a big smile...but how long will this continue?

Am i also a dead moth?And this me is just a mannequin...who walks around without reaching anywhere...laughs without the glint in the eye...mothers without motherliness.

I have eaten myself up and this is the new me. The one i have to be for the rest of my life... save a rebirth. my rennaissance...

Mirage...

Today, i got up after a long sleep of 7 hours...after a long time!the morning seemed to be a bit different but i dont know what it was.to have a cup of coffee i had to walk all the way from my room through the corridor to the dinning hall. since the morning was so good i decided not to be lazy and started walking.
i reached the corridor and saw the bright sunlight.i went forward to catch a ray of it in my hand and suddenly i was not alone...we were standing in a herd of people i knew, i felt secured with and i was the talker.i told them sullenly how last night i dreamed of a completely unknown place where there were big trees and beautiful structures all around and apparently i was working there. everybody had a hearty laugh and said that it was just a dream.i closed my eyes and sighed in relief...i opened my eyes to find myself lost in a place totally unknown... the unknown which i had dreamed of.
i pinched myself to see if i was dreaming...ouch...i was not!i dont know which hurt more.the pinch or the mirage. the mirage i guess...something that was so real and yet impossible.
i walked till the dinning hall lost in my thoughts and am still wondering was that a dream or is this one...